Friday, April 23, 2010



‘Sitting, waiting, wishing, hoping for this life to get better. I don’t want to do as they say, I want to be 14 again and I want to be a rebel again’

When you have to listen to your parents even when you have become major is the most disgusting thing ever. When things don’t go your way, you just feel like saying ‘what a fucked up life, you are living’. And this is how I feel right now. So messed up in my head, living such a fucked up life and what hurts the most is that no one cares. I just want to scream, shout, have a fight; I just want to feel better. With screwed up exams, screwed up love life, screwed up surroundings and now screwed up parent-child relationships, tell me God what’s next? I don’t think it gets any worse than this.

But then with time everything gets better. It’s supposed to. You sleep and the next morning feels like nothing happened. It’s all about being patient.

Today a thought occurred to me, why does every girl seek their perfect guy? And who exactly is that perfect guy? Does he have some kind of a physical build up? Is he supposed to have blue eyes, fair complexion, be 6 foot tall? Or is he supposed to be a poet, a writer, a musician? Or is he just supposed to be a guy with a good heart? we can just think, but honestly deep down we don’t know. We don’t know anything. We don’t know the future, we don’t know when that moment comes when we just bump into our perfect guy or maybe we have already, but we failed to recognize him in this swarm of millions.

Look back, think about something unusual that had happened, did you feel something weird? Did you feel like you heart just skipped a beat? Did it? It was just a feeling, maybe you did or maybe you haven’t still but someday you will and when you live that moment, there’s nothing more you want but to live that moment again and again.
You get a big smile, your heart beat grows fast, for a fraction of second you have the sinking feeling. When you have it, you know it; it’s all that you want to ever feel. It’s just one of those feelings which you can’t have everyday, it’s only meant for someone special. And instantly like the universe itself whispered this, you know he is the perfect guy. He can have a million quirks and flaws but still his one smile would be enough to make you believe that nothing is wrong with him. He is right in so many ways. What really matters then is not how you feel about him but the way you feel when you are with him. It’s just a connection.

An excerpt from my diary:

“If you have a person who can make you smile by saying nothing, a person for whom you get dressed up in the morning and go to college, a person who has brought back the spice in your life. He makes it all worthwhile.

I see him every day in the morning or sometimes in between classes and just one glance of him makes my heart flutter like a bird, I have a bright smile on my face and I can’t stop staring at him. Life just gets better.

I may never talk to him; I might just stand there, a face in the crowd and stare at him but no matter what, I know for those few seconds he made me smile.

When I saw him the first time I started believing in love at first sight,it wasn’t the serious kind of love but it was definitely strong attraction. The way I felt, I had not felt like that in a long time. :)"

Since that day, I haven’t looked back and since then I have only smiled.

Thursday, April 15, 2010



I don’t do poems, I don’t do short stories, I do write long stories and can’t find an end for them.... Maybe I am still in the process of searching for an end, when I find one I might be able to successfully write it....

When you have a day like today, you actually feel good about life. The series of unfortunate events turned to the series of fortunate events, there was only one bad thing in the entire day, my horrible history exam but even that couldn’t take away my smile.

A friend who can make you laugh, a friend who is always there, a friend who understands you without you saying a word, a friend who doesn’t need any explanation, a friend with whom you can’t be serious for more than 5 minutes no matter what, a friend who flirts with you, a friend who can gossip with you and lastly that one person, who can make your heart beats fast and make you feel alive again.
I share different relationships with all of my friends and I love them all with my heart. Like there is no substitute for salt in food, there is no substitute for a friend in life. Whenever you are happy, whenever you are low, it’s your friend who is always by your side smiling with you, crying with you.

There are a million people you might know but there will be that one person who knows you. Sometimes we seek that one person, when that one person is right in front of us.
Never take your friends for granted because you might not find them again. I came to a school where I was clueless and lost but in the end I know what I gained from that school, friends I never want to lose. Friends for life, no matter what happens, they make all the troubles, pain and grief worth it. “Smile, be happy and be cheerful, think about the good things in life and let go of the things which were just a lost cause” is what I have learnt through experiences. And look around, you might find that one person right behind you who would take away your loneliness.