Saturday, January 29, 2011
‘Weddings are a happy place; they are the perfect, happy days. For that beautiful bride who started her new life’
She sat in her palanquin; her brothers keeping it on their shoulders got her to the Mandap. When the little curtains of the palanquin were removed and she stepped out in all her grace, people gasped as they saw her beauty, her bridal outfit glowing in the lights and glittering jewellery just added to her charm. She looked down, maintaining her elegance she started walking. For a moment she looked up and all she saw was the man standing, waiting for her, the man who promised to be with her forever. None of the people in the crowd could even imagine what she was going through, the rush she felt inside, the mixed emotions of happiness and sadness. They could discuss about how beautiful she looked and how gracefully she walked, she was the centre of attention, she knew but she didn’t care, all she thought about was starting a new life with a new family and yet being a part of her old one, transition from one phase to another while keeping the other one still alive.
She stood in front of him who looked perfect for their perfect night. He took her hands in his and saw the henna coloured hands and smiled to her, she was his bride and he was ecstatic. They both sat down for the ceremonies to begin, the priest started chanting but she sat there deaf and numb, she looked at her family and then looked at him for some assurance, there was fear in her heart, fear to be the perfect bride and fear to start a new life.
He saw her sitting beside him with her head low, he somehow knew what she was feeling; he held her hand in his and smiled at her. That smile was the only thing she needed at that time, slowly fears seem to be fading away and happiness started coming, for she remembered the time when a few days ago she was going through the bridal outfits, choosing just the right one, for she was the bride to be and now here she was almost married and almost on the verge of moving into a new life with everyone whispering that she was indeed the perfect bride.
Friday, January 28, 2011
'two friends sat on the cold ground looking at the sky which had gone dark, right in front of them the stage was all set, the bright lights focussed on the musicians, waiting for the singer to arrive, the guitars were playing in the background, the crowd was cheering and they both just enjoyed the music, the sky and the weather in peace’
A concert is never the same yet never very different, it tests ones patience to the maximum, there would be a crowd of people waiting for it to start and yet it would never start on time. It’s tiring to stand there for hours and wait but once the music starts playing it seem all worth it.
It’s different to hear the songs you listen on the radio or TV live, it’s a different experience, the words just become more meaningful, the music becomes more beautiful. But what is even better is enjoying that experience with your friend, for they are always there and always will be.
People swaying, singing along, shouting along with the singer, hooting after every song, cheering before every new song, it’s like a new kind of high, different kind of high, hundreds of people in sync, not an everyday sight. That is why concerts are noisy yet so peaceful because even if you are not standing in the crowd but just sitting at a distance, enjoying the music with your friend, it’s still a wonderful experience. So, thanks to my friend for being there and making it so much more fun. :)
Monday, January 24, 2011
‘Stars are shining, moon is bright and sky is lit up for once tonight, what is so special tonight? I think and I don’t know the answer’
Playing the song on repeat that reminds me of you the most, it’s hard to let go of your thoughts, it seems as if there is no escape now, all I crave for now is to hear your voice, to know that you are alright. There was no warning sign, when I was looking for one, there was no more truth, no more lies, everything just went silent. Saying that I miss you would be an understatement, it’s hard to figure out the reasons for the current situation and I really want to know. Were my inhibitions correct about you? Or just like everyone you deceived me too, concealed the true you. I refuse to believe, I saw something in you and I can’t be wrong. They say you can’t be exactly correct about someone and obviously not about someone you haven’t met in a long long time and I smile because even though I believe that theory too, I know you are an exception to it. I can be wrong the first time, the second time but not the third, never the third. In all these words all I am trying to say is that I miss you and that I have started doubting myself.
When I would be sitting outside feeling the cold breeze blowing my hair, listening to our song, I would remember your laugh and smile again. And this is how much I miss you.
Monday, January 10, 2011
‘This life is mine, it’s yours, it’s ours, only we can make the most of it’
The year 2011 started with a bang and a series of bad news not only for me but for many around me. Obviously everyone thinks that things will get better next year and that is what everyone thought, everyone hoped for. ‘Hope’ a four letter word with so much power, power to make us believe, power to make things look brighter than what they are. In the beginning of this year I was in my cynical mood and I couldn’t figure out the difference between happy and sad. But now I can and even though things are just as bad as they could be for everyone, I still believe that this year is going to be a better year. I maybe 10 days late but still New Year just started for everyone and I hope and I wish that it becomes the best year for everyone so far. So a big HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think all this positivity and festive mood is the result is an overdose of family movies and holiday songs. :D
‘Because we get one life and one 2011, so why be so sad'
Friday, January 7, 2011
'You kindle me with your charm,
later I realize it was all a charade,
I feel nothing anymore,
heal me with your smile,
thats all I ask,
for I am so broken inside'
She saw a light afar, someone, somewhere was calling her. She stood there frozen, she couldn’t walk anymore and maybe she was hallucinating. She had made it so far without her mother and she knew she could go further but she looked back to look for her mother and just saw the slick sheet of ice. Tears had dried up, there were so many who were killed and who would be killed, the shouts, screams still haunted her. She didn’t know what they did to her mother but she wanted to know and there was no one to provide her with answers, she had fled the camp, escaped it with those few people who managed to. She ran so fast and so far that she lost them and now she stood somewhere in the middle of nowhere, ice all surrounding her and her clothes not enough to protect her. The cold breeze embraced her and she was shivering. She thought after losing her mother to those merciless creatures, her escape would take her somewhere and then later she understood that there was nowhere left to go. She had lost her family in the war, even though she was ready to fight, her will was disappearing, they said ‘nobody ever breaks out of that god awful place but she managed and she ran with that hope of going somewhere and now she was nowhere.
The cold was killing her, her body turning blue and there was no one to cry for help, she couldn’t fight it anymore, the light she saw so bright ahead was diminishing, her eyes were closing, she knew if she fell unconscious now, she wouldn’t be able to survive and closing her eyes she collapsed on the cold ice. She lay there remembering her mother, her family, her god. She closed her eyes for good and slept off forever on the cold ice, for she dared to fantasize about freedom, for she dared to escape her death but she couldn’t escape war.
She froze to death with no one there to help her, for there was no hope at all. In every war some would survive and some would die. If only her fate had been that strong, if only she had been one of those lucky ones.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
‘She walked through the hallway and opened the door of her empty apartment; she threw the keys in the key bowl and placed the groceries and the wine bottle on the table. She went into her room and placed her coat in the closet and looked outside her room’s window, it wasn’t snowing but it was freezing outside. She went into the kitchen and started cooking pasta, she lit up the entire apartment with candles because she loved candlelight, she went into her room and took a shower, she got dressed up in a red wine coloured dress and put on makeup, she had to look gorgeous.
She came out and checked her watch, it was 10 pm and the apartment was glowing, she smiled to herself and walked inside the kitchen with her stilettos clattering against the apartment’s wooden floor. She placed the pasta in a dish and poured the wine in a glass, taking both she placed herself on the couch and looked outside the wide window of the living room, the city was glowing, there was mood of celebration everywhere, after all it was the new years eve night, she loved the view of the city from her 15th floor. She started eating her pasta and drinking her wine and admiring the beauty of the city and its things alone. After finishing her dinner she made herself comfortable on the couch to read her favourite book.
The clock struck 12, it was a new date, she didn’t realize it until she saw the fireworks outside her window, she smiled throughout, it was a new year. She looked around her apartment which was still glowing with candlelight and then she walked up to the empty wine glass kept on the table, she put another clean wine glass beside it and sighed, she poured the wine in both of them and held them in her hands and whispered ‘happy new year’. She put them again back and sat on the couch again to read, while reading she dozed off. The bright sun woke her up in the morning, she woke up and found herself still in her party dress, ruffled on the couch and the two glasses still kept on the table, as full as they could be’
31st December 2010 I was sitting in my room studying for my exam, not one of my ideal things to do on New Year’s Eve night but I still went through it and I wondered, what would be so different about the next morning except for some change in numbers? And as expected there was nothing unexpected, I woke up early morning to finish my studying, was hell tensed for my exam, got ready and was in no time sitting in the exam hall staring at the question paper trying to understand it, hoping for time to fly. The clock struck 1 and I had finished my exam, I wasn’t very happy with the way I had done the exam and I knew 1st January 2011 is not going to be any different. It is the same day; it’s the same things all over again. Nothing new happened and nothing would happen in one minute. The clock will strike 12 as it always does every night, the date will change as it always does every night.
31st night my room was filled with the party music playing in the nearby club, there was a huge party going on and I didn’t feel like dancing. Maybe celebrations are not my thing, maybe I just prefer to be alone.
All there is to think is that we always believe that New Year will bring with it some new happiness but the truth is things don’t change, it’s just a date change and it’s as significant as it could get. It’s just another one of those nights and the next morning is the same.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Two strangers meet, they talk, they feel.
“you know I don’t like the fact that you like someone else” I said, he paused for a very long moment over the phone, for once I thought I had said something wrong and then he said “I know” and paused again. My heart skipped a beat; he knew I could sense he knew about my feelings. I didn’t speak. “don’t think about me in that way, you and me are just not a possibility, you deserve a better guy and I am sure you will find one, just don’t start building up stories when there is nothing going to happen” he said and waited for a response, “I will talk to you later” I said and disconnected the phone like a coward'
When one assumes something about other, when the other is just being a friend, it gets a little complicated. But sooner or later things get normal and it is as if nothing happened.
'There were times when you were looking at me and I didn’t notice and the times when I was looking at you and you didn’t notice’
They say what’s done is done, if you feel hurt or happy, it’s probably not the other ones business but what if that emotion is caused by the other person.
‘and he looked at me with a puzzled look, I knew what he asked and I replied “I am not sad” he still kept on staring at me concerned “at least not because of you” I replied, such was the connection, we talk through eyes’
When you find people with whom you instantly connect with, with whom you can have an entire conversation through eyes and you feel like never losing them because purposely or not they keep you in your comfort zone.
“Can you do me a favour?” I asked over the phone “I am sorry I am busy right now” later while going out of the campus when I passed him, he looked drunk, he didn’t even look at me once and suddenly I was invisible to him’
When two people are so well attached, misunderstandings are bound to happen, if the connection is new, it takes time to understand them even more.
‘I passed him in the corridor and he was staring into my eyes, I read something in them, that was probably the one time when I saw a remote possibility of the fact that he may end up feeling for me the way I feel for him’
Some people are hard to define, hard to hate, hard to love; some people just come into your life to make you feel love again.
‘I was standing leaning my head on my friend’s shoulder and I saw him coming towards our direction, on seeing me, he halted, saw the person standing with me and then looked at me and then walked away’
They care; they love but refuse to show. Some people just live in denial.
“hello” I said, “hi” he replied in a deep coarse voice, I assumed he must be sleeping, “were you sleeping” I asked, “yeah” he answers, I didn’t want to disturb him, “ok! Then you go back to sleep” I say “Nahi, its ok, let’s talk” he says and start talking and then I think in my head he has an exam tomorrow and giggle’
When you give time to a relationship there is a possibility of a friendship so sweet that no bitterness can affect it. People might start a relationship on the wrong foot but if innocence exists somewhere then a probable possibility of things to get alright also exists.
‘I came out of the exam centre and I saw him standing at the gate talking to people, he instantly noticed me but didn’t react, for 10-15 minutes he stood there staring at me thinking probably I will go upto him and start talking but I didn’t, later he came upto me and started talking’
If one could lie through eyes then there would be no plausibility of knowing the truth ever, eyes don’t lie. They might not intend to deliberately give signs but they do end up giving some.
“The guy likes you a lot, it’s hard to not notice the signs” my friend said “with him I have stopped believing in signs” I replied
Some relationships are just meant not to discuss about and not to think about, they are just supposed to be written about and remembered just to bring a smile on the face, because sometimes the beauty of some relationships is in the mystery of it.