Tuesday, November 30, 2010
‘Love is a feeling
Give it when I want it
Quench my desire
Cuz I'm on fire
Give it when I want it
Talk to me woman
Give in to me
Give in to me’
Listening to MJ and studying is like Coke and Chips, perfect combo! MJ’s music brings life back in you, it’s true nobody can fill his shoes. His music was never old and can never get old. The contemporary artists could learn a thing or two from him. ‘King of pop’ as he is crowned, he reigned people’s hearts even when he was alive and even when he is gone.
June 25th 2009, when the news of his departure spread, he had left the world but he couldn’t take his soul away with him, his music, which was going to live with everyone forever. The classics like ‘the way you make me feel’, ‘you rock my world’, ‘bad’, ‘blame it on a boogie’, ‘thriller’, ‘smooth criminal’ and many more. The man has endless records that one can hear playing in a street or in a cafe or in some public place. If you don’t know who MJ is, you deserve to die or you clearly haven’t registered yourself in the world as of now. The MJ frenzy was bigger than ever and it had to be the man was grand in everything he did, from his songs, to music videos, to concerts, to world tours. If he had set his heart on something he would not take no for an answer. He was the trendsetter, the volatile guy, so unpredictable in everything.
The moonwalk, he made it famous, everyone was doing it, in the streets, in their homes, just everywhere....when he came onto the stage in his black 3/4th pants with his white sparkling socks and black shoes and started performing the world would hault and he would be in the spotlight. The soulful robot, the never-ending spin and the famous crotch clutch, which he first performed in his video for BAD became his signature steps, his performance won’t be complete without them. He won numerous awards, billboard no.1 spot was his second home and moreover he won a million, billion, trillion hearts all over the world.
‘She's saying that's ok
Hey baby do what you please
I have the stuff the you want
I am the thing that you need
She looked me deep in the eyes
She's touchin' me so to start
She says there's no turnin' back
She trapped me in her heart
Dirty Diana, nah
Dirty Diana, nah
Dirty Diana, no
Let me be!’
Only he was capable of making the improper piece of words sound so appropriate with his brilliant music, his music is not only catchy but it makes you want to stand up and dance. That’s the command his music has on one. Yes the guy was eccentric, yes he had a scandalous life, yes he lived with major insecurities but when he came out and did his thing people forgot everything. He became invincible again.
‘Susie got your number
And Susie ain't your friend
Look who took you under
With seven inches in
Blood is on the dance floor
Blood is on the knife
Susie's got your number
And Susie says its right’
MJ is forever, he aint goin nowhere. He is my exam time saviour and my new pass time buddy, his lyrics gonna keep me alive in a dull time, thank you MJ for your brilliant music and voice.
World not only remembers MJ as a singer or a musician but also as a humanitarian and that was what made him unique and genius at the same time.
‘And I Told About Equality
An It's True
Either You're Wrong
Or You're Right
About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're
Black Or White’
MJ in our hearts forever. Period.
Monday, November 29, 2010
In the starry lit sky
There’s the white moon shining
Looking at me, it smiles
I close my eyes and say your name
Hoping for you to hear it
Patiently standing, I wait
For good things to come my way
For you to see me standing there
I know, it’s asking for more
But asking is all I may
I can feel the cold air blowing my hair
The mist covering the path
Where I once blankly stared
Wondering to myself
Can I live with a hope?
Can life be fair?
It’s dark and hazy
And I lost my direction
Should I just stay for someone to find me?
Or should I just trail in moon’s projection?
I see a dark shadow
Proceeding towards me
I stand there afraid and cold
I narrow my eyes to see
But I can’t be thorough
He just holds my cold hands
And says a ‘hello’
In that moment, I recognize
My heart starts fluttering like a bird
And my lips trembling to find words
Wishes do come true, I realize
Looking at him my lips form a smile
For I knew he was the only one
Who could find me on a cold winter night
For he was the only one
Who could tell me it’s alright
I feel his chin touching my hair
I hug him so tightly
And I don’t even care
He had found me
Lost in my despair
All I had asked for was him
And he stood there
Smiling at me just the way I imagined
I lock my hands in his
Rest my head on his shoulder
Assuring that I felt protected
I stand on my toes to reach his ear
To whisper something that was due
To tell him that I love you
Sunday, November 28, 2010
‘Sunset never looked so beautiful, the orange shade in the sky makes me believe that there will be another day, a brighter day and then it never happens’
Everybody loves sun rise, I am never awake to watch the sun rise. But when I sit in my room and watch the sun set from my window listening to that one song that warms my heart, I think about you, I miss you.
Even though life is a chaos, even though I am surrounded by people, I just can’t stop thinking about you. When I have to wait the entire day just to talk to you for 15 minutes, I feel frustrated because all I want to do is talk to you the entire time, but then I hear you voice and all is well in the world again. I forget everything and just start yapping, telling you about myself, about my day, it’s a habit now, I have to tell you about my day. I like it when you care, I like it when you tell me about yourself, I like it when you play your guitar.
I don’t know where we are or how you feel about me and honestly I don’t care, all I know is that we talk and you keep me sane and you don’t even know about it.
I hate it when your exams start and then we don’t talk for a month, you don’t even know how much I miss you, you don’t even know how much I always have in store to tell you. You just don’t know. But I like it when I hear your ‘hello’ and when you laugh, I like it when you think I am crazy and I like it when you scold me. I love the awkward pause after we say goodbye, its like we both find the suitable words to end the conversation and we just don't, we just end it.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be good enough for you, all I know is that I’m falling for you,I don't know where you stand, all I know is I want to stand with you and I don't know what future holds, all I know is that I want you to be in it.
‘it’s the one thing you make me do, you make me MISS YOU’
‘In all that you were, in all that you are, in all that you will be, all I know is that you are mine’
I remember the day when I saw him for the first time, as usual I was lurking around in the corridor, it was the beginning of the semester and I was completely lost looking for friends when I first saw him. I saw him and a smile formed on my face. My friend too liked that guy but it had been more than a month and we were getting nowhere with him, exams happened and I lost all hope of knowing him. I was sad, depressed and lost, in my depression I got heavily drunk at my college party and I saw him passing me, my eyes didn’t leave his face, he looked perfect, more than that. I remember sitting with my friend at 12 in the night looking at the brightly lit up moon, closing my eyes I uttered the word ‘destiny’ and as soon as I opened my eyes I saw him sitting right in front of me with his friends. I came to know his name, found him on facebook and out of me and my friend he chose to talk to me, When did the talking become into something else, I didn’t come to know. He was such a charmer; it was so easy to like that guy that I was falling for him without even knowing. We spent too much time together for almost 2 weeks and I observed him, listened to him deliberating things in my own head about him, I stopped myself from liking him but it happened and I had fallen for him. I would find him in college, get sad if I didn’t talk to him, felt hurt if he didn’t look at me and every time he saw me, he greeted me with his cute adorable smile.
He came into my life and made me realize that I did have a void, that I was living a mechanical life. He became my angel, he made me laugh again, he made me feel emotions again and moreover he helped me realize that losing one love isn’t the end of the world, he inspired me, he helped me to know that I had room for much more, that there was someone whom I would love again more and more.
At the end of the two weeks I could feel something was wrong between us, that he was growing distant and then he told me about the other girl he already liked, yes my heart did break but the best part was that he was the one who helped me through it, he didn’t abandon me, he showed me that he cared. We grew distant, we both started walking in other directions, it hurt every time I saw him, I started ignoring him and then keeping distance seemed like a better idea. I could feel myself forgetting him but I never forgot the time we spent together, all in all I was in my happy place again.
Today when I see him there are no feelings, he is somewhere there deep down in my heart acquiring a tiny little place, I came to know why I fell for him and why it was easy for me to just not like him anymore. He was a likeable guy, he was that happy go lucky person who could make any girl happy and I met him when I was lost and depressed in my own life and when something happy comes your way, you think its love but its not, it’s just infatuation.
I can’t thank him enough for bringing me back from the dead, for helping work me through my wounds, for being the way he was, for giving me such beautiful memories, for sharing all that he did and for bringing back my smile again.
There was a reason why I met you
And it wasn’t love
You came into my life
For another reason
To show me a new direction
To tell me that I could smile
You gave me memories for life
You taught me how to love again
In my heart there is a place for you
You are unforgettable
I wish you be in my life even tomorrow
For you are the only one
Who understood me instantly
For you are the one to bring happiness and sorrow
Back in my life
I will somewhere be in love with you forever....
‘in my heart there are places I want to go, there are things I want to do, there are unfulfilled wishes, there are dreams I want to fulfil’
Almost a semester passed by without me rambling about anything in my blog, I feel like I have forgotten to write, it was something that came to me naturally but I feel like in my heart there is so much confusion, so much agitation that I don’t feel like writing anymore. Writing was one thing that kept me happy, that kept me sane, that it was one thing I am good at but now I am losing my confidence to even express myself on paper. I have a notebook with a collection of sheets filled with my everyday ramblings, surrounded by the one thing that keeps bothering me in college, the one thing that has kept me so occupied this whole semester. Things happened and it made me realize that life isn’t so easy, even if you do get second chances, it isn’t necessary that they are there for real. Even if I close my eyes all I can think about is the past and that is something I want to forget and look forward to the future.
The exam time is already here and it is the ending of another year, in winters it’s all white even the sun emits different colours. White isn’t my colour neither is winter my season but I survive, snowfalls I never enjoyed; too much cold just makes me sick. I love the rain, the sound of the raindrops splashing on the rooftop, the drops falling outside my window and the best part about monsoons is getting wet in the rain, it always brings a smile on my face. I even enjoy the sun, when its bright, sunny and warm, I feel secure, protected. I like the fact that in the sun my brown hair and brown eyes glow, I can wear warm colours and there is no cold. The cold air reminds me of pain, struggle and tears, it makes me cold. I know I am not supposed to feel that way but it is how I feel.
It has been a crazy semester, from bunking classes, to parties, to boring classes, to making new friends, to feeling alone, to feeling alive again, to going back to finding my way again. These 6 months have been a roller coaster ride. It’s been a journey from past to the future, it’s given me clarity and at the same time its taught me to feel something again.
‘Time heals all wounds, what if you don’t want the wounds to heal? What if you don’t want the memories to fade away? What if all you want to do is stay in this moment and feel this pain?’