In the swarm of millions, its just a face finding her way, maybe she will, maybe she won't but whatever be the consequences, its a journey she embarked on and every journey has crossroads...if not the right path maybe she will find herself.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
SONG FOR THE HEART
'Slowly she was giving up, she couldn't get through him, he was in love with someone else and she was trying to make a way in, now she started realizing, it was pointless, as useless as it could be, he was more than a friend but still somewhere just a friend'
Hold on little heart
Don’t stop beating so soon
There is more to life
Than you can imagine
There is a sun that rises
There is a moon that shines
It’s not too late for you
So wake up and breathe again
Let the darkness go away
And light make its way
You can’t grow numb so soon
Feelings are a part of you
Why do you feel so much pain?
Why do you feel so much joy?
Make a new way
Feel something more
Nobody is going away
Nobody is leaving you alone
Hear the words of the brain
It sometimes makes sense
I know you fight with it a lot
But at least it cares enough
To make you find a way
Don’t love so much
Don’t think about breaking down
In my eyes you will live
No matter how much pain
So don’t slow down so soon
Have a little faith in me
Don’t try to express so much
I know you want to let it go
Don’t try so hard to
Try to make a wish
Maybe it might come true
I am talking to you
Trying to keep you awake
Don’t sleep so soon
My dying heart
Open your eyes
You still got so much more
There is a string
Binding you and me
I feel when you feel
I cry when you cry
Don’t worry
You haven’t let me down
I promise not to blame you
I promise to fathom
I promise to just be there
Little heart, I love you
Wake up, wake up to a new sunrise
Thursday, May 5, 2011
THE FIRST EMOTION
it's a feeling I want to remember, the first of everything is always memorable
Bright, happy eyes looked at me,
They had a mystery unsolved,
I was hooked,
Your innocence was intriguing
It’s not every day,
That I find a smile so fascinating,
I had found a reason to stay,
I had found a reason to stop and stare
In the midst of the crowd,
It was easy to find you,
And then I wondered,
It could be a trivial possibility of a cue
When you walked,
You made heads turn,
When you smiled,
You made everyone smile
I remember the time,
When I passed you and you turned,
The feeling so sublime,
Something inside me churned
You stood afar,
Glaring at me,
How could my thoughts be not bizarre?
How could I be blithe?
It was a feeling,
I had not felt in so long,
You made me smile,
You kept making me look at you,
Again and again
Perfection was in your eyes,
It made me see dreams once more,
Perfection was in your smile,
It made me believe in life once more
When I first looked at you,
I knew you were here to stay,
My intuition came out to be true,
And you really stayed...
Saturday, April 30, 2011
FINDING MYSELF GROWS 1 YR OLD
‘She saw him and every time she did she felt at peace but suddenly her smile had vanished when she looked at him, she was torn between the past, present and future and that when she herself believed that all three are individual time frames, yet she was getting lost keeping them separate’
It’s unbelievable to think that my blog survived for so long, it has been over an year finding myself, now the question for me is have I found myself? Writing keeps me sane; I always believed that, it always calmed me down even in the most panicky situations. When I am anxious I don’t need a friend, I need a pen and a paper.
So when I started this blog, I had a plan and a good one. It was all laid out, chalked out, month by month, year by year. I was going to learn, introspect and keep walking. I had already wasted a lot of time in my life doing unproductive things and now it was time to show some productivity, I was going to find meanings to things, I was going to find meaning to my life and I was going to find myself, the self I was departing from.
It’s stupid to think that plans will always work out, that priorities will never change and it is even more foolish to think that everything will as constant as it is now. It doesn’t take time for things to change, for meanings to change, for me lose my way again.
Things happen, incidents occur, that make you want to live again, make you want to change the course of life again. And so it happened, unexpectedly things changed overnight and by overnight I mean literally ‘overnight’. It took one night for my whole world to turn upside down, for my plans to go back in the trash. It was not something planned and it is never planned.
Serendipity, one would think, but was it really that? Serendipity means when you find something that you were not expecting to find. It’s an accidental discovery, good or bad? Nobody knows. In my case I am still figuring out, I want to stick to good and that is where I stand now.
And then I wondered whether a person is capable of changing the other so drastically? I changed because of someone and I like the change in me. Everyone around me believes that I have changed, I just think I matured. I just think I grew out of the ‘kiddish fantasies’, I just think I started living in reality.
So did I really find myself? In a way I did. The process of finding myself still goes on and it is a never ending process. But I do know from the first post of this blog till the last post, I am not the same person anymore. I have changed and I have found myself in a big way. My perspectives, my opinions, my plans, everything has changed. Now I don’t make big plans, just little ones to get me through every day.
‘Happy anniversary to my blog and I am surprised that I was patient enough to write so much, to put up with it, usually I just give up easily or get bored but I guess change has really set in. For this post and for many more to come’
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
IT IS SIMPLE, JUST TRY!
‘no thoughts tonight, feeling at peace lately, maybe it’s the silence before a storm, what future holds, I don’t know but the anticipation is somewhat exciting’
She was a pretty face in the crowd; he was just another shy, cute nerd in the making. Whenever he saw her in the corridor, his heartbeat would fasten and he would think about talking to her but he was at the lowest in the social status bar and she was someone everyone was around.
She would look at him and even though she pretended she didn’t notice, in her heart she was smiling. She would meet his engaging grey eyes, prettiest pair of eyes she had ever seen. She would pass him without a prominent glance but in her mind she wanted to look at him once again, take in that last long look but she never dared to.
If they felt then why didn't they say anything? Is social status so important? Are materialistic things so important? Can’t it be simple for once? If that person makes you smile, if that person warms your heart, isn’t that person worth everything? Worth every sacrifice? Worth every compromise? Why is it complicated? Does simple love exist? And then a friend asked me a question ‘the love they show in movies, does it exist?’, for him I answered a yes but it’s a question not worth asking, an answer not worth seeking. Love is vague, it’s different for everyone. For one it is a heart break so major, memories that would haunt him for life and for the other it’s a whiff of fresh air, it’s knowing no matter the hurt or the pain, it’s those little moments that make you smile matter.
BERRY BERRY STRAWBERRY
‘I will wear a red sweater and green cap tomorrow to look like a strawberry; she laughed but didn’t know how to react’
I love strawberries, possibly the only fruit I like so much that I want to have it every day. When my strawberries finish, I feel depressed and unhappy. I miss my strawberries, now that they have finished. If strawberry could be a real human being, I would love him so much. I would not want anything else but just me and my strawberry. So my obsession with strawberries is unknown to people but only a few know. It’s my deep dark secret, it’s my addiction and it’s my indulgence. It’s not any berry, its strawberry, its red and its yummy. :D
Friday, April 1, 2011
LOSS OF WORDS
'He could love someone else, but she would always love him'
You wait for my words
I am afraid to say anything
You look outside, seek help
I just look at you admiringly
Would there be a future for us?
Would we ever cross the line?
Maybe future isn’t for us
Maybe there are no lines
Do you believe in destiny?
Do you hunt for reasons too?
Our destiny is sealed already
Reasons are few
Your smile is deceiving
Your eyes tell me the truth
I can’t figure out the reality
But I want to believe it’s you
It’s me asking questions this time
Can you even hear me?
It’s me waiting for answers
Do you even have any?
Yet here I stand with you
Still feeling the same
Still not expressing
Still hesitant
With you love is not just a word
It’s an emotion
With you holding your hand
Is not just an action
It’s my way of saying, I care
I would bury my feelings
Somewhere deep down
But I would still look into your eyes
And feel so much love
Let me have this feeling forever
Don’t make it vanish
It’s my magical world
Where you and me would never perish
Thursday, March 31, 2011
THE EPIC WIN
'Happiness isn't just a word, it's an emotion. Even though I am not a cricket fan, I don't like to watch Cricket matches at all but yesterday was something nobody could miss it for the world, for it was not just a match, it was a battle and a battle well won'
One Wednesday afternoon a nation went silent. Offices, colleges and schools got closed; everybody got glued to their television sets. It hadn’t even started and people were already high on emotions. The anticipation of a miracle, the expectations of a billion people and most of all the pressure and responsibility on those 11 men wearing blue, was this going to be their day? Was India finally going to be in the world cup finals? Nobody knew the answer and then I wondered did they even care? Everyone whom I knew wasn’t even interested in the cup; they just wanted them to win against the Pakistanis, a match so well awaited that even if it was being played in the initial rounds of the world cup it would have the same effect as the final of the world cup.
World cup 2011 of cricket: The best cricket team so far of India and everybody in good form. When India beat Australia, people were celebrating more than that people were waiting for the next match. Indians were to face the Pakistanis, even the non cricket lovers got awaken, not out of love for cricket but for being patriotic. 30th march 2011, a day that will be remembered by everyone, when Indians won the toss and chose to bat, everybody thought it was a good decision, luck was in our favour, maybe we could win this match. Mohali pavilion was jam packed, full of Indians and Pakistanis, ministers, actors, NRI’s had flown in from different states and nations. It was not only time for some cricket, it was time for war, was it really a war? Was it just a game? It was more than that, it was about respect, it was about living upto the hopes of those billion people praying, it was not only about winning, it was about our nation’s pride.
It was a day where cricket was being played between the two rival nations, people cheering in the stands holding banners that talked about friendship with Pakistan, but it was also a day where the prime ministers’ of both the nations would meet after the 26/11 terror attack. ‘Cricket diplomacy’ is the word coined for their meeting, unofficial as they termed the meeting, many issues would have been discussed. A time where one prime minister could take an initiative and start the peace talks again, a time where everybody would be distracted with cricket and they could discuss the fate of those billions.
When the two opening batsmen of India walked into the pavilion with their head held high, bats in their hands, chest pumped up and with only one thing mind, to win today. They walked in and the crowd roared at the top of their voices, one of them was called God and the only hope for India. The start to the game was unexpected, Sehwag thrashing the Pakistani bowlers with fours and Tendulkar being as cautious as he could be. When the first wicket was taken for Sehwag the stadium went quiet, it was too early for him to go, even he knew that but he gave Indians a good start. The match went on, whenever an Indian came on strike, the crowd would cheer loudly, they would roar at the top of their voices, chant their names, they just wanted to see them win. Wicket after wicket, the scenario for Indians had just turned, Pakistanis were too good with the ball and Indian players were baffled, they didn’t have an answer to their attack, they were helpless and tensed. When Yuvraj went on duck, everybody knew the match was going in favour of the Pakistanis, they were happy, they knew they had nailed it, they had made them weak. The scoring of the runs went slow, everybody in the stadium sat holding their breaths, would we make even a 200? Everybody thought, keeping fingers crossed, somehow Tendulkar struggled and steady he managed to make enough runs to let India survive. At the end of the 50 overs with 260 runs first half was over, India somehow struggling, managed to make enough runs for them to chase, Raina the last batsman to play was able to keep India’s hopes still high. He was the last hope for everybody and he somehow managed to prove them right.
The second half of the match started, everybody knew India’s weakness, bowling wasn’t their forte and coordination wasn’t one of their best qualities. But for just one day, for one match could they work as a team? Because even they knew the gravity of the situation, Pakistanis were happy with what they had done, they were relaxed. But then India did show their greatness, the second half of the match became the best part of the match, with bowler after bowler taking wicket after wicket, it was a glorious day. The shouts, the screams, the roars of people in the stadium whenever somebody got out were beyond comparison, that’s how ecstatic everybody was. Yuvraj, was agitated with the way he got out and he took his revenge right, he got 2 wickets. The team coordination, the fielding, the motivation and the determination to win was visible on everyone’s faces. The last over, the second last ball, people already celebrating on the streets, the win, with just one more wicket left, the Indians did not give a chance for all the balls to get finished, for the 50 overs to end, they took the last wicket on the second last ball and ended the match themselves.
There were firecrackers everywhere, people were on the streets celebrating and players were running around with wickets happy. For India, we had already got the cup. This was their epic win and they had done it, they managed to give those billion people a reason to be happy, forgetting their worries they got lost in the celebrations. It had been a good day not only for them but the entire country. For everybody the next morning was going to be a good one, where going to offices, schools and colleges won’t be that painful.
When I went on facebook and read a friend’s status, I instantly liked it; it was an epic status for an epic moment. ‘One nation just had an orgasm’ and indeed it was that happy for them.
In India, cricket is religion and one thing that can bring the entire nation to forget everything and bring everyone together, yesterday was that day.
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